Daily Joke: Jokes Library

While trying to avoid hitting a dog, I lost control of my two-wheeler and landed in a ditch by the side of the road.

With some difficulty, as I crawled out of the ditch, a beautiful woman who had stopped her car and came to help me asked

“Are you okay?”

“I’m okay I think,”

I replied as I pulled myself up.

She said, “Come, get in my car. I’ll take you to my place which is only a few blocks away. You can clean up, and then I will examine you to confirm that you are not hurt.”

“That’s nice of you,” I answered,

” but I don’t think my wife will like me doing that!”

“Oh, come on, I’m a nurse,” she insisted.

“We need to see if you have any scrapes and treat them properly.”

Well, she was really pretty and very kind. I could not say no, but repeated,

“I’m sure my wife won’t like this.”

We arrived at her place and after cleaning up, she examined me to confirm that I do not have any major injury and then offered a drink.

We had a couple of drinks, but all along I was feeling guilty and finally told her,

“I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I’d better go now.”

“Don’t be silly!” she said with a smile,

“Stay for a while. She won’t know anything. I suppose, she must be at home, right?”

“Well, not really. She must be still in the ditch.”

A married couple was walking through a garden, and suddenly a dog ran towards them.

They both knew it will bite them..

The husband lifted his wife to let the dog bite him rather than his sweetheart.

The dog stopped before them, unsure what to do, barked a little and ran away.

The husband put his wife down, expecting a hug and a few kind words of gratitude from her.

But his wife shouted,

“I’ve seen people throwing stones & sticks at dogs, this is the first time I see someone trying to throw his wife at a dog”

** Moral: No one else can misunderstand a Husband better, than a Wife.**

The Bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.

Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.

The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.

So he announced:

” Ladies and Gentlemen, today is the luckiest day of my life.

Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and said……

My daughter has finally returned my Credit Card to me!!!”

whole audience burst into laughter…….

But one was in complete silence…The Groom !!!!

Michael was thinking about how good his wife had been to him and how fortunate he was to have her.

He asked God:

“Why did you make her so kind-hearted?”

The Lord responded:

“So you could love her my son”

Next question:

“Why did you make her so good-looking?”

Reply: “So you could love her my son”

Third one: “Why did you make her such a good cook?”

Response: “So you could love her my son”

Michael thought about this for a while, and then he said:

“I don’t mean to seem ungrateful or anything. But why did you make her so stupid?”

Without hesitation came the answer:

“So she could love you, my son.

A minister comes to an eighty-one-year-old woman’s house to give her communion every week.

On the first week, the first thing he noticed was the beautifully polished oak organ in the woman’s living room.

Well, on the third time he came, he noticed a fishbowl on the organ, but there was no fish and there was no water.

He thought it a little odd, but let it go.

The fourth time he came.

The fishbowl was filled with water, but still no fish.

On the fifth occasion, there was a c0ndom floating in the bowl!

The minister decided he just couldn’t let it go any so he asked,

“Edna, I’m sorry, but what’s with the c0ndom and the fish bowl?”

she replied, “oh, I found that at the store”.

The package said

‘Place on organ and lubricate well and it will protect against diseases’.