03/14/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16948
A Young Woman was preparing for her Wedding.
She asked her Mother to go out and buy a Nice, Long Black Negligee and carefully place it in her Suitcase so it would not Wrinkle.
Mom forgot her task, until the last minute, so she dashed out and could only find a Short Pink Nightie.
She bought it and quickly threw it into the Suitcase.
After the Wedding, the Bride and Groom enter their Hotel Room.
The Groom was a little self-conscious, so he asked his new Bride to change in the Bathroom and promise not to Peek while he got ready for Bed.
While she was in the Bathroom, she opened her Suitcase and saw the Negligee her Mother had thrown in there.
She exclaimed,
“Oh No, It’s Short, Pink and Wrinkled”.
Then her Groom cried out,
“F.F.S.. I thought I told you not to Peek”..
03/13/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16946
Three women sit in a beauty parlour talking about their husbands.
The first woman says,
“Last night my husband said he was going to his office, but when I called they said he wasn’t there!”
“I know!” the next woman says,
“Last night my husband said he was going to his brother’s house, but when I called he wasn’t there.”
The third woman says,
“I always know where my husband is.”
“Impossible!” both women exclaim,
“He has you completely fooled!”
“Oh no,” says the woman.
“I’m a widow.”
03/12/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16943
A man is walking home late at night when he sees a woman in the shadows.
“Twenty bucks,” she says.
He’s never been with a prostitute before, but he decides what the hell.
They are going at it for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them—it’s a policeman.
“What’s going on here, people?” asks the officer.
“I’m making love to my wife,” the man answers indignantly.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” says the cop,
“I didn’t know.”
“Well,” said the man,
“To tell the truth neither did I until you flashed that light on her face.”
03/11/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16940
A Mother -in -Law decides to test her three Son- in-laws for their good nature.
For this, she goes for a walk by a river with the first son-in-law & jumps in.
He saves her.
The next morning he finds a Toyota Corolla parked outside his house with note:
From your Mother In Law.
Next she goes for a walk by the river with the second son-in-law & jumps in.
He too saves her.
The next morning he also finds a Toyota Corolla parked outside his house with note:
From your Mother In Law. Next,
she goes for a walk by a river with the third son-in-law
& jumps in. He just laughs and walks away.
Next morning he finds a BMW M5 parked outside his house with a note:
from your Father In Law
03/10/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16937
Two couples were playing poker one evening.
Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor.
When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bob’s wife, Sue wasn’t wearing any underwear under her dress!
Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments.
Bob’s wife followed and asked,
‘ Did you see anything that you like under there?’
Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did.
She said, ‘Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500.’
After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested.
Sue told him that since her husband Bob worked Friday afternoons and Jim didn’t, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.
When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Bob’s house at 2 p.m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed.
Jim quickly dressed and left.
As usual, Bob came home from work at 6 p.m.
And upon arriving, asked his wife:
‘ Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?’
With a lump in her throat Sue answered ‘Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.’ Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked,
‘ And did he give you $500?’
Sue, using her best poker face replied,
‘ Well, yes, in fact, he did give me $500.’
Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying,
‘ He came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised he’d stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.’
Now, THAT is what I call ‘A Good Poker Player’!