09/08/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17517
Youngster pushes his wagon up a hill when one of the back wheels falls off and rolls down the hill.
The young boy says: “I’ll be darned.”
A local pastor heard him and said:
You should not say that.
Next time your wheel falls off say:
‘Praise the Lord.’”
So the next day the young boy is pulling his wagon up the hill and the wheel falls off and rolls down the hill.
The young boy says:
“Praise the Lord.”
The wheel stops rolling, turns around, roIIs back up the hill and puts itself back on the wagon.
The young boy being very surprised by this exclaims:
“I’ll be darned!”
09/07/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17515
Ben went on a safari with his wife and mother-in-law.
One evening, while still deep in the jungle, Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone.
Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
Ben picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her.
In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her.
The wife said,
“What are we going to do?”
“Nothing,” said Ben,
“The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.”
09/06/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17512
A police officer in Grafton stops at a local farm.
He talks with an old farmer, and tells him.
” I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs”.
The farmer says,
” OKay, but do not go in that field over there,” as he is pointing out the location.
The police officer verbally explodes saying,
” Mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me”.
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, and proudly displays it to the farmer.
” See the badge old man? this badge means I am allowed to go on any land … have I made myself clear”.
The farmer apologizes, nods and goes about his chores.
A short time later the old farmer hears loud screaming, looks up and sees the police officer running in front of the farmers Santa Gertrudis bull.
With every step the officer makes the bull gains two, only seconds before the bull reaches him.
The rancher drops his tools and stands up and yells.
“Your badge, Show him your badge!”
09/05/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17509
A man working in an IT company became sick.
He consulted many multi-facility hospitals but still couldn’t get cured…
He was sad.
Then his wife advised,
“why don’t you consult a veterinary doctor?”
He was shocked.
He screamed at her,
‘ Are you mad?’
She spoke softly,
‘ Nothing happened to me… It is you have a problem. You wake up early in the morning like cock, take a half bath like a crow, eat something like a monkey, and then run to the office like a racehorse, there you work like a donkey, and you scream to your juniors like a wild bear, evening you reach home and bark at us like a dog, then you eat like a crocodile, at night you go to bed and sleep like a buffalo. That’s the reason why I asked you to meet a veterinary doctor.’
The man just sat and gaped at her.
The wife asked, Now why are u looking at me like an owl?’
09/04/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17505
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle.
For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant’s tail, really hard.
Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river.
The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle.
“Why did you do that?” the giraffe asks.
“When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason,” the elephant replied.
“Wow! You must have a good memory!” exclaimed the giraffe.
“Yep!” said the elephant. “I’ve got Turtle-Recall.”