09/27/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17572
Dave took Mary out for a romantic dinner where the conversation turned to the subject of marriage.
Dave had been saving for an engagement ring, but he was in graduate school and in dire need of a new computer.
Mary was understanding, telling Dave they had the rest of their lives to get engaged,
So he should use his savings to buy a computer instead.
During dessert, Dave suddenly reached into his pocket and pulled out an engagement ring.
Mary was stunned, but after she collected herself, she looked up and prompted:
“Well, don’t you have something to ask me?”
Dave then got down on bended knee.
“Honey,” he said,
“Will you buy me a new computer?”
09/26/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17570
Wife: Where are you?
Husband : At home love.
Wife: Are you sure?
Husband:Yes.
Wife : Turn on the mixer.
Husband : (turns mixer on) Rrrreeereeeereeee…
Wife: Ok my love goodbye.
Another day
Suspicious Wife: Where are you?
Husband : At home love.
Wife: Are you sure?
Husband : Yes.
Wife: Turn on the mixer.
Husband: (turns mixer on) Rrreeereeeereeee…
Wife: Ok my love goodbye.
The next day, the wife decides to go home without notice, and finds her son alone and she asks him:
“Son, where is your father?”
Son: “I don’t know, he went out with the mixer…
09/25/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17566
A man and his wife enter a dentist’s office.
The wife says “I need a tooth pulled.
No gas or Novocain!
I’m in a terrible hurry.
Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible.”
“You’re a brave woman,” says the dentist.
“Now, show me which tooth it is.”
The wife turns to her husband and says:
“Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is,dear”
09/24/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17564
A boy with a monkey on his shoulder was walking down the road when he passed a policeman who said,
“Now, now young lad, I think you had better take that monkey the zoo.”
The next day, the boy was walking down the road with the monkey on his shoulder again, when he passed the same policeman.
The policeman said,
“Hey there, I thought I told you to take that money to the zoo!”
The boy answered,
“I did! Today I’m taking him to the cinema.”
09/23/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17562
A man owns a rabbit farm and is known around the world for his rabbits who can lift more than any man.
A little boy asks him “How do you keep your rabbits so strong?”
The man replies, “It’s no secret.”
He pulls out a bottle of shampoo and says,
“Keeps your hares strong!”