11/07/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17703
Wife : Am I looking fat?
Husband : Yes
Wife : Shut up. Don’t you ever dare talk to me!!
Wife : Am I looking fat?
Husband : No
Wife : Liar
Wife : Am I looking fat?
Husband : Maybe
Wufe : can u ever b decisive
Wife : Am I looking fat?
Husband : I don’t know
Wife : Are you blind?
Wife : Am I looking fat?
Husband : Depends
Wife : Oh you comparing me with some one else..
Wife : Am I looking fat?
Husband : silence
Wife : Are you deaf?
There are some questions for which there is no correct answer.
For everything else there is Google .
11/06/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17699
An old man applies for a job as a woodcutter,
but the boss doesn’t think he’s fit enough.
He tells the boss he is able to cut down any tree in a single swing.
To prove this, he goes outside, hits a five-foot tree with his ax, and it falls over.
The boss is impressed.
The old man then repeats this with a ten-foot tree.
Then a thirty-foot tree. Finally, he takes his ax up to an 80-foot redwood, swings, and the giant tree comes tumbling down.
The boss is amazed and asks the man how he learned to do that.
The man says “I practiced in the Sahara forest.”
“Don’t you mean the Sahara desert?” The boss asks.
“Well yes,” says the old man, “that’s what they call it now.
11/05/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17695
A herd of cows and two bulls are eating grass out in the pasture.
Suddenly, a great gust of wind comes ripping across the prairie and knocks all the cows to the ground.
But, the bulls just sway in the wind and continue eating.
When the wind quiets down, the cows stand up, brush off the dirt, and start eating again.
A bit later, one cow looks up just in time to see a tornado tearing through the pasture fence.
The tornado knocks the cows every which way, but the bulls just rock back and forth as they are buffeted.
When the cows get back on their feet and pick the straw out of their hide, they all walk over to the bulls.
One cow says,
“Why do we cows get knocked over by wind but you bulls keep standing?”
The two bulls laugh and reply,
“We bulls wobble, but we don’t fall down.”
11/04/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17691
A guy stops at a little cake shop run by an elderly couple.
He asks for a cup of coffee.
The old man who was working the counter turns to the kitchen and says
“Sweetie! A cup of coffee to this gentleman please!”
The man found that rather cute and, deciding he could use some cake with his coffee decided to order a slice.
The elderly man turned to the kitchen again and proclaimed
“Love of my life! A slice of cake too please.”
The man found that adorable and, deciding to see that just one more time asked for some cookies.
And just like that
“Oh reason of my existence! Some cookies too!”
After the man was done and was paying the bill he turned to the senior and said
“It’s rather adorable how you two call each other cute nicknames like that. You don’t see that much nowadays.”
The old man looked at the boy, then towards the kitchen and whispered to the man
“Naah. I just forgot the Her name 20 years ago.”
11/03/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17689
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things, when he noticed an old lady following him around.
Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on.
Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.
“Pardon me,” she said,
“I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It’s just that you look just like my son, who just died recently.”
“I’m very sorry,” replied the young man,
“is there anything I can do for you?”
“Yes,” she said,
“As I’m leaving, can you say ‘Good bye, Mother’? It would make me feel so much better.”
“Sure,” answered the young man.
As the old woman was leaving, he called out,
“Goodbye, Mother!”
As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50.
“How can that be?” He asked,
“I only purchased a few things!”
“Your mother said that you would pay for her,” said the clerk.