08/29/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17482
A young boy is pulling his wagon up a hill when one of the back wheels falls off and rolls down the hill.
The young boy says: “I’ll be darned.”
A local pastor heard him and said:
You should not say that.
Next time your wheel falls off say:
‘Praise the Lord.’”
So the next day the young boy is pulling his wagon up the hill and the wheel falls off and rolls down the hill.
The young boy says:
“Praise the Lord.”
The wheel stops rolling, turns around, roIIs back up the hill and puts itself back on the wagon.
The young boy being very surprised by this exclaims:
“I’ll be darned!”
08/28/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17478
A man shops for groceries with his wife.
The man sees a case of beer on one of the shelves and puts it in the cart.
“What are you doing?” asks his wife.
“They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans.” he responds.
“Well, put it back. We can’t afford those.”
Without another word, the man obeys his wife and puts the case back on the shelf.
In the next aisle over, the wife sees a bottle of facial cream and puts it in the cart.
“What are you doing?” the man asks.
“It’s my face cream and it’s on sale for $20. It makes me look beautiful.” she replies.
“So does a 24 pack of beer, and it’s half the price!”
08/27/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17476
A police car pulled up in front of grandma Bessie’s house, and grandpa got out.
The polite policeman explained that the elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park and couldn’t find his way home.
“Morris,” said grandma,
“you’ve been going to that park for over 30 years, how come you get lost today?”
Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn’t hear, grandpa whispered,
“I wasn’t lost. I was just too tired to walk home.”
08/26/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17472
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class.
On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella.
The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green.
Little Johnny, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire-truck red.
After seeing this, the teacher asked him,
“Little Johnny, how many times have you seen a red duck?”
Little Johnny replied,
“The same number of times I’ve seen a duck holding an umbrella.”
08/25/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17469
A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears,
“You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?” he concluded.
“What, dear?” she asked gently, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
“I think you’re bad luck.”