12/30/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17915
An 82-year-old husband and 80-year wife went to breakfast at a restaurant,
Where the ‘seniors’ special’ was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.
‘Sounds good,’ the wife said.
‘ But I don’t want the eggs.’ Said the old husband.
‘ Then, I’ll have to charge you $3.49 because you’re ordering a la carte,’ the waitress warned her.
‘You mean I’d have to pay for not taking the eggs?’ wife asked incredulously.
‘YES!’ stated the waitress.
‘I’ll take the special then,’ wife said…
‘How do you want your eggs?’ the waitress asked.
‘Raw and in the shell,’ the wife replied.
She took the two eggs home and baked a cake…
Moral Of The Story–>
DON’T MESS WITH SENIORS!!!
12/29/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17911
Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success.
Finally, they came up with a fool-proof plan.
They got a very authentic cow moose costume and learned the mating call of a cow moose:
The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull.
They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume, and began to give the moose call.
Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing.
When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said.
“Okay, let’s get out and get him.”
After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted.
“The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?”
The guy in the front says.
“Well, I’m going to start nibbling grass, but you’d better brace yourself.”
12/28/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17907
Wife sent text to husband.
“Hi I will get late, please cook dinner, then wash all dirty dishes and make sure you prepare our bed and put kids to sleep before I return…..
She sent another text,
“And I forgot to mention…. I have also bought a bottle of BLUE LABEL PREMIUM SCOTCH WHISKY for you……
He texted _“ really ?”
She replied –
“No…. I just wanted to make sure you got my first message”
12/27/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17901
Santa and his two friends are talking at a bar.
His first friend says,
‘I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren’t mine.’
His second friend says,
‘I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber, the other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn’t mine.’
Santa says,
‘I think my wife is having an affair with a horse.’
Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief.
‘No I’m serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed.’
12/26/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17898
A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when, all of a sudden, a cat attacks them.
The mother mouse says,
“BARK!!” and the cat runs away.
The mother mouse then says to her baby,
“See how important it is for you to learn a foreign language?”