Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A salesman dropped in to see a business customer.

Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets.

The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him.

The dog looked up and said,

“Don’t be surprised. This is just part of my job.”

“Incredible!” exclaimed the man.

“I can’t believe it! Does your boss know what a prize he has in you? An animal that can talk!”

“Please don’t!” said the dog.

“If he finds out I can talk, he’ll make me answer the phone, too!”

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,

Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,

“It’s essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.”

He addressed the man,

“Can you describe your wife’s favorite flower?”

Tom leaned over, touched his wife’s arm gently and whispered,

“You bake with Home pride, don’t you?”

The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I’ll stop right here.

A lady fixed her husband a special meal for his birthday.

After dinner she fixed him a pitcher of martinis then poured him a drink.

Then she left to pick up his favorite dessert from the local bakery.

When she returned from her errand she found her husband, drink in hand, prancing about the living room wearing her clothes and high heels.

“What the hell is going on!” she exclaimed.

Her husband got a quizzical look on his face and said,

“What? You asked what I wanted for my birthday and I told you. I wanted to eat, drink and…….. be Mary.”

One day a man with an elephant walks into a movie theatre:

“I’m afraid I can’t let your elephant in here, sir.” The manager says.

“Oh, I assure you, he’s very well behaved.” The man says.

“All right then.” The manager says.

“If you’re sure.”

After the movie, the manager says to the man.

“I’m very surprised! Your elephant was well behaved, and he even seemed to enjoy the movie!”

“Yes, I was surprised, too.” Says the man.

“He hated the book.”

The donkey said to the tiger,

‘The grass is blue.’

Tiger said, ‘No grass is green.’

Then the discussion between the two became intense.

Both of them are firm in their own words.

To end this controversy, both went to Lion – King of Jungle.

In the middle of the animal kingdom, sitting on the throne was a lion.

The donkey started yelling before the tiger could say anything.

“Your Highness, the grass is blue, isn’t it?”

Lion said, ‘Yes! The grass is blue. ‘

Donkey, ‘This tiger does not believe. Annoys me He should be punished properly. ‘

The king declared, ‘Tiger will be jailed for a year. King’s verdict was heard by the donkey and he was jumping in joy in the entire jungle.

The tiger was sentenced to one year in jail. ‘

The Tiger went to the Lion and asked,

‘Why Your Highness! The grass is green, isn’t it? ‘

Lion said, ‘Yes! The grass is green.’

Tiger said, ‘… then why am I sentenced to jail? ‘

Lion said,

“you did not get punished for the grass being blue Or green. You have been punished for debating with that stupid donkey. Brave and

intelligent creatures like you have argued with a donkey and have come here to get a decision”