Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A farmer buys a young rooster.

As soon as he brings the bird to the farm, it rushes & fucks all 150 hens.

The farmer is impressed thinking about all the eggs the hens would hatch.

At lunch, the rooster again screws all 150 hens.

The farmer gets a bit worried now.

The next day, he finds the rooster fucking the ducks, geese, & a parrot too which is now scaring him.

Later that day, he finds the rooster lying pale, half-dead with vultures circling over its head.

The farmer says, “You horny bastard, you deserve this.”

The rooster opens one eye, points up, & whispers, “Shh! Don’t shout, let them land!”

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?”

Johnny says, “None.”

The teacher asks, “Why?”

Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.”

The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.”

Johnny asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?”

The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.”

Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”

There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette.

They were all trapped on an island and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.

The redhead swam trying to make it to the other shore she swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.

The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.

The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.

Two guys are walking through a game park & they come across a lion that has not eaten for days.

The lion starts chasing the two men.

They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts getting tired and decides to say a prayer,

“Please turn this lion into a Christian, Lord.”

He looks to see if the lion is still chasing and he sees the lion on its knees.

Happy to see his prayer answered, he turns around and heads towards the lion.

As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the it saying a prayer: “Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive.”

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren’t enough rooms, so they have to share a bed.

In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, “I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!”

The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he’s had the same dream, too.

Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, “That’s funny, I dreamed I was skiing!”