09/17/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18864
A male and female whale are swimming together in the ocean.
The male whale says,
“You know, all the world is working to save our species.
Environmental groups are working hard, Greenpeace is doing everything they can…
but you still don’t feel like going on a date with me?”
09/18/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18862
Two pigeons are sitting on a roof, watching the world.
One of them notices a jet plane roaring high up at the sky. ?
He nudges his friend,
”Wow, would you look at that! Look how fast he is!”
The other one shrugs,
“You’d fly like the blazes too if somebody lit your b####t on fire.“
09/19/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18860
A guy walks up to a caretaker in a dog shelter:
“I’d like to adopt a dog. Do you have one that’s really loyal?”
The caretaker nods,
“Absolutely, you should take Danny over there.”
The man is pleased,
“Excellent. And you’re sure he’s really loyal?”
“Ah, you won’t find a dog more loyal than that. I placed him 5 times these past few months and he’s always come back!”
09/15/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18857
Two teenagers, Fred and Joe, meet after school and Fred is all excited:
“Man I was at the most awesome party this weekend! We went to this dude’s house and guy had toilets made of pure gold!”
“No way!”
“Yes way,” insists Fred, “come with me and check it out for yourself if you don’t believe me.”
Twenty minutes later they’re ringing the doorbell at the place. A middle-aged lady opens and Fred eagerly asks her,
“Hi! I’m sorry to bother you but there was a party at your house yesterday and my friend doesn’t believe that you have toilet bowls of pure gold!”
The lady looks at him for a moment and then yells into the inside of the house,
“Roger, the pig that shat in your trombone is here!”
09/14/2024 from Daily Jokes
#18854
An old lady comes in for her medical check-up:
“Doctor Ribbit, you remember how you warned me that I should avoid going up and down stairs as much as I can?”
“Yes,” agrees the doctor,
“the last X-rays made that very clear Mrs. Jenkins.”
“You know, I’m not sure it was such a great idea doctor… I have to say all that climbing up and down the rainwater downpipe is becoming quite hard!”