03/01/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20211
Ralph is driving home one evening, when he suddenly realizes that it’s his daughter’s birthday and he hasn’t bought her a present.
He drives to the mall, runs to the toy store, and says to the shop assistant, “How much is that Barbie in the window?”
In a condescending manner, she says, “Which Barbie?”
She continues, “We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00.”
Ralph asks, “Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 when all the others are only $19.95?”
“That’s obvious,” the saleslady says. “Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, Ken’s furniture…”
02/28/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20208
Three guys are sitting in a sauna: a Mexican, an Asian, and a white guy.
The Mexican and white guy are showing off their new tech gadgets.
The white guy says, “Hey, look what I got: the new Google Glass!”
The Mexican & Asian say, “Wow, that’s nice, man.”
Then the Mexican guy says, “Check out my new cellphone; it’s a watch!”
The white guy and Asian say, “Very cool, dude.”
The Asian guy has nothing to show these guys, so he gets up and walks away naked to to the bathroom.
Then he comes back 5 minutes later from the bathroom still naked with paper hanging out of his butt crack.
The Mexican and white guy say, “Hey, you have something hanging out of your ass.”
The Asian guy says, “Oh look, I’m receiving a Fax!”
02/27/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20204
Two old men were discussing their ailments. The first man said, “I’m getting forgetful, I can’t even remember my own phone number.”
The second man replied, “I hear you. Last week, I forgot my own birthday.”
The first man said, “That’s not so bad.”
The second man responded, “You’re right. It was my wife’s birthday.”
02/26/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20200
An old man goes golfing every weekend.
His wife always complains about his going and leaving her alone.
So one weekend he says
“Why don’t you come with me and I’ll teach you how to play.”
She agrees and on the first hole, a par 4 with a dog leg, she asks
“ok, what do I do?”
He says “you see that flag way down there with that patch of green around it? You have to hit the ball on to that patch of
grass close to the flag.”
So she swings and hits an amazing drive.
The ball lands 3 feet from the hole.
The man says
“That was incredible! Great shot!”
His wife asks
“So what do I do now?” So he says,
“Well now you have to hit it into that hole.”
The wife says
“Well why didn’t you tell me that to begin with?”
02/24/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20194
About a year ago, 100 dead crows were found on the side of a motorway.
Upon investigation, The crows were found to have been hit by vehicles and were covered in specs of varying paint.
After further investigation, it was also found that the paint on the crows had two different types, one from trucks and one
from cars. 98% of the crows had been killed by trucks.
The researchers were baffled as to why such a large number of the crows had been killed by trucks.
After much deliberation, the researchers came to a conclusion.
When crows are feeding on roadkill, they will always have one crow on the lookout for any danger.
When they spot danger, they will shout
“CAH! CAH!”.
Unfortunately, crows can’t say
“Truck”