Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, “I’ll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday.” Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn’t get her anything. She says, “Why didn’t you get me a birthday present!?” He replies, “You didn’t use what I got you last year!”

The doctor looked benignly at the woman who had come to him for an  examination. “Mrs. Brown,” he said, “I have some good news for you.” The woman said, “I’m glad of that doctor, but I’m Miss Brown,” “Miss Brown,” said the doctor without changing expression, “I have bad  news for you.”

Amy, a city girl, marries a farmer.

One morning, before he goes out to the fields, the farmer says to her, “The artificial insemination man is coming to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a big nail into the two-by-four over the cow’s stall. You show him where it is.”

The farmer leaves, and a while later, the artificial insemination man arrives. Amy takes him down the rows of cows until she sees the nail.

She says, “This is the one, right here.”

The man says, “How do you know?”

Amy says, “By the nail over its stall.”

The man says, “What’s the nail for?”

Amy says, “I guess it’s to hang your pants on.”

why did the chicken cross the road?

why?

to get to the gay guys door

knock knock

whos there?

The gay guy

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boys efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boys position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, “And now what, my little man?” To which the boy replies, “Now we run!”