Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A drunk staggered into a cemetery and fell into a freshly dug grave. Pretty soon a second drunk staggered by. “Get me out of here”, said the one in the grave, “I’m cold”. The other one looked over the edge and said, “No wonder you’re cold, you poor guy. You don’t have any dirt on you”.

How is a woman like a tornado?  They twist and turn when the come and take the house and car when they leave.

How are Pizza and sex the same? No Matter how bad it is your still happy you got a piece

How are sex and oxygen the same? You don’t care about either one until you’re not getting any.

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the  police.  “What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your  car?” asks the cop.

“I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.”

“Oh yeah?” says the doubtful cop. “Lets see you do it.” The  juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches  masterfully.

A couple driving by slows down to watch. “Wow,” says the  driver to his wife. “I’m glad I quit drinking. Look at the test  they’re giving now!”