Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Did you hear about the gay rooster?

Instead of saying cock a doodle doo he said any cock will do.

HOW IS A BLOND AND BUTTER THE SAME? THEY BOTH SPREAD EASLY HA HA

A lady boarded a bus with her baby. The driver looked at the baby, and said: “That’s the UGLIEST baby I’ve ever seen!” The lady slammed her fare into the meter, and stalked to the back of the bus. A man across the isle from her saw that she was upset, and asked her what was the matter. “The bus driver just offended me!”, she said. The man said: “Ma’am, that man is a civil servant, and shouldn’t be offending his customers. If I were you, I’d go up there, and give him a piece of my mind.” The lady said: “Yea! That’s exactly what I’m going to do!”, and got up to confront the driver, when the man said: “If your going up there, I’ll hold your monkey.”

Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake.
“I’ll go into town for a doctor,” the other says.
He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby.
“I can’t leave,” the doctor says. “But here’s what to do: take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison, and spit it on the ground.”
The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony.
“What did the doctor say?” the victim asks.
“He says you’re gonna die.”