Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A teacher asks her students what religious objects they have in their homes.

One boy answers, “We have a picture of a woman with a halo holding a baby and every day my mother kneels in front of it.”

The next little boy says, “We have a brass statue of a man seated with crossed legs and a Chinese face, and every day my parents burn an incense stick before it.”

Then a third boy pipes up, “In the bathroom we have a flat, square box with numbers on it. Every day my mother stands on it first thing in the morning and screams, ‘OH MY GOD!!!'”

New way of writing answers in exams

If you don’t know the answer, then put lines like this:

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and write below: “Scratch here for ANSWERS.”

My wife came home with four cases of beer, three boxes of wine, two bottles of whiskey and two loaves of bread.

“Are we expecting guests?” I asked.

“No,” she replied.

“Then why did you buy so much bread?”

A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam.

The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breastfed or bottle-fed.

“Breastfed”, she replied.

“Well, strip down to your waist.” The doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, “No wonder this baby is underweight. You don’t have any milk.”

“I know”, she said, “I am his Grandma.”

A Police officer called over to the Station on his radio.

“I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped.”

“Have you arrested the woman?”

“Not yet. The floor’s still wet.”