Daily Joke: Jokes Library

I was driving home from work when I was pulled over for not wearing a seat belt. Three days later, I got the same ticket, at the same stop, from the same cop.

“So, have you learned anything?” asked the cop.

“Yes, I have,” I began. “I’ve learned it’s time to find a new way home from work.”

What do you call a dinosaur that turns small words into big words?

A Thesaurus!

Realizing at the last minute that it was his father’s birthday, a teenage boy rushed to the corner store to grab a card.

He quickly found a son-to-father card but neglected to read it carefully.

Later when his father opened his gifts, he was surprised to read aloud, “Happy birthday to a wonderful Dad. Now that I’m a father too . . .”

At the supermarket, a woman shopped with her four boys and a baby. Her patience was wearing thin as the boys called out, “Mommy! Mommy!” while she tried to shop.

Finally, she blurted out, “I don’t want to hear the word mommy for at least ten minutes!”

The boys fell silent for a few seconds. Then one tugged on his mother’s dress and said softly, “Excuse me, miss.”

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare-line.