Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Mama bear, papa bear, and baby bear were having a great time chasing vacationers in a car as they were visiting Yellowstone National Park.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, Baby Bear?”

“I think we could be doing a better job of scaring these vacationers.”

“But Baby Bear,” Mama Bear injected. “What more can we do?”

“Maybe we’d have more of an effect on them if we got out of this car and started chasing them on all fours!”

Owner of a aircraft manufacturing company stopped by the aircraft testing airfield to check on the newest test pilot.

He asked the supervisor how the new guy was doing. “Terrible! He has already crashed four planes this week!”

Owner replied, “How is this possible? Where did he work before coming here?”

Supervisor said, “He designed Windows software for Microsoft.”

Patient 1: “Why did you run away from the operation table?”

Patient 2: “The nurse was repeatedly saying ‘don’t get nervous’, ‘don’t be afraid’, ‘be strong’, ‘this is a small operation only’, things like that.”

Patient 1: “So what was wrong in that? Why were you so afraid?”

Patient 2: “She was talking to the surgeon!”

A blonde goes to the doctor with burns on both of her ears and her right hand.

“Sit down and tell me how it happened,” says the doctor.

“I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear.”

“What about the other ear and your hand?” the doctor asked.

She replied, “I tried to call for an ambulance.”

A guy was unfortunate enough to be hit by a truck and ended up in the hospital. His best friend came to visit him.

The guy struggles to tell his friend, “My wife Sadie visits me three times a day. She’s so good to me. Every day, she reads to me at the bedside.”

“What does she read?” the friend asks.

“My life insurance policy.”