Daily Joke: Jokes Library

The owner of a company tells his employees, “You worked very hard this year, therefore the company’s profits increased dramatically. As a reward, I ‘m giving everyone a check for $5,000!”

Thrilled, the employees gather round and high five one another.

“And if you work with the same zeal next year, I’ll sign those checks!”

A college coach had recruited a top talent, but the player couldn’t pass the school’s entrance exam. Needing the recruit badly, the coach went to the dean and asked if the recruit could take the test orally. The dean agreed, and the following day the recruit and the coach were seated in his office.

“Okay,” the dean said. “What is seven times seven?”

The recruit mulled it over for a moment, then said, “I think it’s 49.”

Suddenly the coach leapt to his feet. “Please, Dean,” he begged, “give him another chance!”

Some people wake up feeling like a million bucks…

Me?

I wake up feeling more like “Insufficient Funds”.

During training exercises, the Lieutenant was driving down a muddy back road when he encountered another car stuck in the mud, with a red-faced Colonel at the wheel.

“Your jeep stuck, sir?” asked the Lieutenant as he pulled alongside.

“Nope,” replied the Colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, “Yours is!”

The frugal man walked into the house panting and almost completely exhausted. “What happened, Honey?” asked his wife.

“It’s a great new idea I have,” he gasped. “I ran all the way home behind the bus and saved $1.50 cents.”

“That wasn’t too smart,” replied his wife. “Why didn’t you run behind a taxi and save ten dollars?”