Daily Joke: Jokes Library

I waited for a very long time for my number to be called at the Department of Motor Vehicles to renew my driver’s license. As I approached the window, the clerk asked how she could help me.

I replied, “I need to get a haircut, can you save me my spot?”

She said, “Why didn’t you get a haircut before your came here?”

I replied, “I didn’t need one before I got here!”

Back in my hippie college days, a professor came up to me in the cafeteria and asked me, “Ya dig?”

I thought to myself, this guy’s pretty far out. I answered, “Yeh, man. I dig!”

That’s how I got hoodwinked into joining his archaeological expedition.

“Today,” said the professor, “I will be lecturing about the kidneys, intestines, pancreas, and the liver.”

One med student leaned toward his friend sitting next to him, “Great, we have to sit through another organ recital.”

A young pupil asked, “Master, what is fate.”

“Ah, my son, it is what has brought great nations together. It has made the world a smaller place in which to live. It has inspired men of worth to work endless hours. It will some day enable men to span the universe and light years of travel will soon become mere seconds in time.”

“And that, my master, is fate?”

“Oh, fate! I thought you said freight.”

A man went in to a restaurant and ordered alphabet soup. The man’s alphabet soup was in front of him when a bee went inside.

The man cried out, “Waiter, Waiter, there’s a bee in my alphabet soup!”

The waiter said, “Yes, sir, and I believe all the other letters are there too.”