04/03/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16999
An old lady was stopped to pull into a parking space
when a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for.
The little old lady was so upset that she went up to the man and said,
“I was going to park there!”
The man was a real smart alec and he said,
“That’s what you can do when you’re young and bright.”
“Well, this really upset the lady, even more,
So she got in her car and backed it up and then she stomped on the gas and ploughed straight into his Mercedes.
The young man ran back to his car and asked,
“What did you do that for?”
The little old lady smiled and told him,
“That’s what you can do when you’re old and rich!”
04/02/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16997
John brought his new work colleague, Robert, home for dinner.
As they arrived at the door, his wife rushed up, threw her arms around John and kissed him passionately.
“Wow!” said Robert. “And how long have you two been married?”
“Twenty-four years,” replied John.
“You must have a terrific marriage if your wife greets you like that after all those years.”
“Don’t be fooled,” said John.
“She only does it to make the dog jealous.”
04/01/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16995
After she woke up, a woman told her husband,
“I just had a dream that you gave me the most beautiful diamond necklace. What do you think it means?”
“You’ll know tonight.” he said with a smile.
The woman could hardly think of anything else all day and she couldn’t wait for her husband to return home.
That evening, the man finally came home with a small package and gave it to his wife.
Delighted, she opened it excitedly to find a book entitled…
“The Meaning of Dreams“
03/31/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16992
A fifteen-year-old boy johnny and his father were in a mall.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again:
The boy asked,
“What is this Father?”
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded!
“Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is.”
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened, and the lady rolled between them into a small room.
The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially
They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order……
Finally, the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old girl stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son…
“Go get your Mother!”
03/30/2023 from Daily Jokes
#16990
Two women that are dog owners are arguing about which dog is smarter….
First Woman : “My dog is so smart, every morning he waits for the paper boy to come around and then he takes the newspaper and brings it to me.”
Second Woman : “I know…”
First Woman : “How?”
Second Woman : “My dog told me.”