04/04/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20344
A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom’s bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, “I need a man, I need a man!”
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.
One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning.
When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.
Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, “Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!”
04/02/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20341
A boy says to a girl, “So, lets make love at my place?”
“Yeah!”
“Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks we’re making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. Cheese means faster and tomato means harder, okay?”
Later on the girl is yelling, “Cheese cheese, tomato tomato!”
The younger brother says, “Stop making sandwiches! You’re getting mayo all over my bed!”
04/02/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20338
Why did I get divorced?
Well, last week was my birthday.
My wife didn’t wish me a happy birthday.
My parents forgot and so did my kids.
I went to work and even my colleagues didn’t wish me a happy birthday.
As I entered my office, my secretary said, “Happy birthday, boss!”
I felt so special.
She asked me out for lunch.
After lunch, she invited me to her apartment.
We went there and she said, “Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?”
“Okay,” I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, “SURPRISE!!!” while I was waiting on the sofa… naked.
04/01/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20333
The huge college freshman decided to try out for the football team.
“Can you tackle?” asked the coach. “Watch this,” said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
“Wow,” said the coach.
“I’m impressed. Can you run?”
“Of course I can run,” said the freshman.
He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
“Great!” enthused the coach. “But can you pass a football?”
The freshman hesitated for a few seconds.
“Well, sir,” he said, “if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it.”
03/31/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20330
A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?”
Johnny says, “None.”
The teacher asks, “Why?” Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.”
The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.”
Johnny asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?”
The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.”
Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”