Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Two women sitting in the doctor’s waiting room began discussing babies.

“I want a baby more than anything else in the world.” said one. “But I guess it’s impossible.”

“I used to think that,” said the other. “But then everything changed. That’s why I’m here. I’m going to have a baby in three months.”

“You must tell me what you did.”

“I went to a faith healer.”

“But I’ve tried that. My husband and I went to one for nearly a year and it didn’t help at all.”

The pregnant woman smiled and whispered: “Next time, try going alone.”

Fearing that he would be late for an important business meeting in London, a motorist was beginning to panic because he couldn’t find a parking space. Street after street was full, and growing ever more desperate, he decided to seek help from the Almighty.

Looking up to Heaven, he said: “Lord, please help me out here. If you find me a parking space, I’ll give up drinking, and women, and go to Mass every Sunday.”

Then as he turned the corner, miraculously a parking space appeared.

He looked skyward again and said: “Never mind, I found one.”

A woman was out driving when she stalled at a red light. Hard though she tried, she was unable to restart the engine and soon a long line began to form behind her. One of the male drivers was particularly impatient , sounding his horn continuously.

Finally, she got out of her car, walked over to the driver behind and said: “I can’t seem to get my car started. Would you be a sweetheart and see if you can get it started for me? I’ll stay here in your car and lean on your horn for you.”

Ques:  Why do they call it the “PRACTICE OF LAW”?

Ans:    Because no lawyer is ever bright enough to get it right.

An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, “We have three possible donors. The first donor is a young, healthy athlete who died in an automobile accident. The second donor is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. And, the third donor is an
attorney who died after practicing law for 30 years. Which do you want?”

“I’ll take the lawyer’s heart,” said the patient. After a successful transplant, the doctor asked the patient why he had chosen the lawyer’s heart. “It was easy,” explained the patient, “I wanted a heart that hadn’t been used.”