Daily Joke: Jokes Library

One evening, in a busy lounge in the deep south, a reindeer walked in the door, bellied up to the bar and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set it in front of the reindeer, and accepted the twenty-dollar bill from the reindeer’s hoof.

Snowman As he handed the reindeer some coins in change, he said, “You know, I think you’re the first reindeer I’ve ever seen in here.”

The reindeer looked hard at the hoofful of change and said, “Hmmmpf. Let me tell you something, buddy. At these prices, I’m the last reindeer you’ll see in here.”

In search of a Christmas tree, two blondes ventured deep into the forest. After hours of braving sub-zero temperatures and biting wind, one blonde turned to the other and wearily said: “I’m chopping down the next tree I see, I don’t care if it’s decorated or not.”

A blonde teenager went for an interview at a major retail store. The woman conducting the interview said: “I see from your application form under ‘previous employment’ you have put ‘babysitter’. Would you mind telling me what your reason for leaving was?”

“Yes,” replied the blonde. “They came home.”

Two country doctors were discussing the population explosion. One said: “This crazy birth rate is getting so bad that soon there ain’t gonna be room for everybody. It’s gonna be standing room only on this here planet.”

“Well,” said his colleague, “that sure oughta slow ’em down a bit!”

A man walked into a bar with a banana on his head. As he served him, the bartender said: “Look, I don’t know if you realize this, but you’ve got a banana on your head.”

“That’s ok,” said the man. “I always wear a banana on my head on Tuesdays.”

“But today’s Wednesday,” said the bartender.

“It’s not, is it?” groaned the man. “Oh no! I must look like a complete idiot!”