Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A small boy came running out of the bathroom in tears.

“What’s the matter?” asked his father.

“I dropped my toothbrush in the toilet.”

“Okay, don’t worry, but we’d better throw it out”

So the father fished the toothbrush out of the toilet and put it in the garbage. When he returned, the boy was holding another toothbrush.

“Isn’t that my toothbrush?” the father said.

“Yes,” said the boy, “and we’d better throw this one out too, because it fell in the toilet four days ago.”

On New Year’s Eve, Daniel was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his van in the car park and walked home.  As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman.  ‘What are you doing out here at four o’clock in the morning?’ asked the police officer.

‘I’m on my way to a lecture,’ answered Daniel.

‘And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year’s Eve?’ enquired the constable sarcastically.

‘My wife,’ slurred Daniel grimly.

While a little boy was at school, his cat died. Worried about how he would take the news when he got home, his mother consoled him and said: “Don’t worry , darling. Tiger is in Heaven with God now.”

The boy looked at her and said: “What’s God gonna do with a dead cat?”

Two telephone company crews were putting up telephone poles. At the end
of the day, the company foreman asked the first crew how many poles they
had put in the ground. “Fifteen” was the answer.

“Not bad, not bad at all,” the foreman said.

Turning to the blonde crew he asked how many they had put in. “Four” was
the answer.

“Four?” the foreman yelled. “The others did fifteen, and you only did four?”

“Yes,” replied the leader of the blonde group, “But go look at how much they
left sticking out of the ground.”

A heavily bandaged man was sitting up in bed at the hospital when his friend came to visit. “What happened to you the friend asked?” “Well, we went to the amusement park and decided to ride the roller coaster. As we came to the top of the highest loop, I noticed a sign by the side of the track. I tried to read it, but it was very small and I couldn’t make it out. I was so curious that I went around again, but we went by so quickly that I still couldn’t see what the sign said. By now I was determined, so I went around a third time. As we reached the top I stood up in the car to get a better view.”

“And did you manage to see what the sign said this time?” asked his friend.

“Yes, remain seated at all times!”