Daily Joke: Jokes Library

While visiting Annapolis, a lady tourist noticed several students on their hands and knees assessing the courtyard with pencils and clipboards in hand.

“What are they doing?” she asked the tour guide.

“Each year,” he replied with a grin, “the upperclassmen ask the freshmen how many bricks it took to finish paving this courtyard.”

When they were out of earshot of the freshmen, the curious lady asked the guide: “So, what’s the answer?”

The guide replied: “One.”

“Hello, police department? I’ve lost my cat and… “

“I’m sorry lady, but this is not a police job, you can try calling…”

“But you don’t understand, this is a very intelligent cat. He is almost human. He can practically talk.”

“Well, in that case ma’am, you’d better hang up. He may be trying to call you right now.”

I went into my local wireless store looking for a solution to a problem.

“I have a horse that I can’t seem to get going when I mount him,” I told the customer service representative. “Nellie won’t listen to my commands, and when she does start moving, it’s just a slow, lazy trot.”

“I have just what you need for your phone,” the rep replied.

“And what would that be?”

“The latest version of the “Giddy-App!”

Jake came rushing in to see his Dad. “Dad!” he puffed, “Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?”

“That’s what they say,” said his Dad.

“Well, give me an apple quick! I’ve just broken the doctor’s window!”

You know a mother once told her ambitious wall street son, “Money will not make you happy.”

“That’s true mom, but it will make you miserable in a better environment.”