Daily Joke: Jokes Library

At the supermarket, a woman shopped with her four boys and a baby. Her patience was wearing thin as the boys called out, “Mommy! Mommy!” while she tried to shop.

Finally, she blurted out, “I don’t want to hear the word mommy for at least ten minutes!”

The boys fell silent for a few seconds. Then one tugged on his mother’s dress and said softly, “Excuse me, miss.”

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?

A receding hare-line.

A grandfather and grandson were taking a nature hike together. The grandfather remarked how nature can teach us many lessons. The grandson asked which lesson was the most important one he had learned.

The grandfather replied, “Well, if you find a baby squirrel in the woods, don’t carry it in your shirt unless you’re wearing a very tight belt.”

A guy is doing some handyman work at a house. Across the room is a large gray parrot on a perch. The family dog comes into the room and jumps up on the couch. The parrot says, “Get off the couch!” and the dog jumps down immediately.

A small child comes into the room with toys and the parrot says, “Go to your room!” and the child picks up his toys leaves without hesitation.

The guy turns to the parrot and says, “I’ve never seen anything like that before.”

The parrot looks at the guy and says, “Get back to work!”

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.

Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, “Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.”

Bobby looked up and replied, “Well, Ms. Smith, you can’t say you weren’t warned.”