Daily Joke: Jokes Library

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a sheep walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes.

He took the precious book out of the sheep’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!”

“Not really,” said the sheep. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

A company owner was asked a question, “How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?”

He smiled & replied, “It’s simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking.”

A man was invited to a wedding. When he reached the hotel, he found two doors written on them…
1.Bride relatives
2.groom relatives

He entered the groom door and found two doors again.
1. Ladies
2. Men

He entered men door and found two doors again.
1.People with gifts
2.People without gifts

He entered the second door (people without gifts )… He found himself outside the hotel.

A girl came skipping to home from school one day…
Daughter : Mommy, Mommy, we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 !
Mom : Very good.
Daughter : Is it because I’m blonde ?
Mom : Yes, it’s because you’re blonde.

The next day the girl came skipping to home from school….
Daughter : Mommy, mommy, we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to G, but I said it to N. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L M, N !
Mom : Very good.
Daughter : Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy ?
Mom : Yes, it’s because you’re blonde.

The next day the girl came skipping to home from school…
Daughter : Mommy, Mommy, we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these ! (She lifted her tank top to reveal a fully developed chest ).
Mom : Very good !
Daughter : Is it because I’m blonde, mommy ?
Mom : No Honey, it’s because you’re 18 !

“How come you’re late?” asked the bartender, as the blonde waitress walked into the bar.

“It was awful,” she explained. “I was walking down Elm street and there was a terrible accident. A man was thrown from his car and he was lying in the middle of the street. His leg was broken, his skull was fractured, and there was blood everywhere. Thank God I took that first-aid course.

“What did you do?” asked the bartender.

“I sat down and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting.”