Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A magazine reporter is traveling through a rainforest in search of a fabled cannibalistic tribe.

He wanders through the thick jungle for days upon days, and it seems like his journey’s going to amount to nothing.

As he ventures deeper into it, his attention is drawn to something hanging overhead in the canopy and decides to take a closer look.

Suddenly, he falls into a trap, is knocked unconscious and wakes up tied to a stake with a fire burning slowly underneath him.

He cries out for help, and is answered by what is obviously one of the tribesmen, who informs him that he is going to be served as dinner to the leader of the tribe.

“But you don’t understand!” he cries, “You can’t do this to me! I’m an editor for the New Yorker magazine!”

“Ah,” replies the tribesman, “Well soon you will be editor-in-chief!”

Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the boss left work early.

One day the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early?

The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son, and went to bed early.

The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date.

The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband fooling around with her boss! Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them.

“No way!” the blonde exclaimed. “I almost got caught yesterday!”

Paul got a part-time job at the Post Office.

He was thrilled, because he had been looking for employment for a while, without any luck.

It wasn’t long before his first day arrived, and he headed to the Post Office brimming with confidence.

The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail.

Paul separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur.

His supervisor didn’t understand how he was capable of working so fast but didn’t question it.

The supervisor approached Paul at the end of his first day.

“I just want you to know,” the supervisor said, “that I’m very pleased with the job you did today. You’re one of the fastest workers we’ve ever had.”

“Thank you, Sir,” said Paul, beaming, “and tomorrow I’ll try to do even better.”

“Better?” the supervisor asked with astonishment. “How can you possibly do any better than you did today?”

Paul replied, “Tomorrow I’m going to read the addresses.”

A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon.

After two weeks they came back and finally put away all of the presents they received from friends and family.

Since this was a new home, the process took some time.

A week later, they received two tickets in the mail for a popular show where tickets were impossible to get.

They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the person who sent this.

Inside the envelope, however, was only a small piece of paper with a single line, “Guess who sent them.”

The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor but failed in the effort.

They went to the theater and had a wonderful time.

On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value.

And on the bare table in the dining room was a piece of paper on which was written in the same hand as the enclosure with the tickets:

“Now you know!”

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.

The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead.

She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.

The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, “Shut up! you’re next!”