Daily Joke: Jokes Library

One evening, a man walking home noticed a drunk on his hands and knees under a streetlight, carefully searching the ground.

Curious, the man asked what he was looking for. The drunk explained that he’d tripped earlier and his Rolex had fallen off his wrist.

Feeling sorry for him, the man knelt down and helped search. After several minutes with no luck, he finally asked where the man had actually fallen.

“About half a block up the road,” the drunk replied.

Confused, the man asked, “Then why are you looking for it here?”

The drunk shrugged. “The light’s much better here.”

A top jockey was about to ride a new horse in a major race. Beforehand, the trainer pulled him aside and said, “There’s just one thing you must remember. Every time you come up to a jump, you have to shout ‘ALLLEEE OOOP!’ as loudly as you can right into the horse’s ear. Do that, and everything will be fine.”

The jockey thought the trainer had lost his mind, but he agreed.

The race started, and as they reached the first hurdle, the jockey ignored the strange advice. The horse smashed straight through the middle of the jump.

Approaching the second hurdle, the jockey, now a bit uneasy, muttered “aleeee ooop” under his breath. The result was the same—the horse plowed straight through the jump again.

By the third hurdle, the jockey decided he had nothing to lose. He yelled “ALLLEEE OOOP!” at the top of his lungs. Instantly, the horse cleared the jump perfectly. From then on, every jump went smoothly—but because of the early mistakes, they only managed to finish third.

After the race, the furious trainer demanded to know what had gone wrong.

The jockey snapped back, “There’s nothing wrong with me—it’s this stupid horse! What is he, deaf or something?”

“Deaf?” the trainer shouted. “DEAF?! You fool—he’s not deaf… he’s BLIND!”

One day, God looked down at Earth and saw all the mischief going on, so He called one of His angels and sent him down to observe for a while.

When the angel returned, he reported, “It’s bad down there. About 95% of people are misbehaving, and only 5% are behaving well.”

God paused and said, “Maybe I should get a second opinion.” So He sent another angel to Earth.

After some time, the second angel returned and said, “It’s true. The world is going downhill. Roughly 95% are misbehaving, and only 5% are doing the right thing.”

God was disappointed. He decided to email the 5% who were behaving well, hoping to encourage them and help them keep going.

Do you know what the email said?
No?

Funny… I was just wondering, because I didn’t get one either.

Share this prank joke so others can have a laugh too.

An old, weary-looking dog wandered into my yard one day. From his collar and healthy belly, it was clear he had a home and was well cared for.

He ambled over calmly, accepted a few pats on the head, then followed me inside. He shuffled down the hallway, curled up in a corner, and promptly fell asleep.

About an hour later, he headed for the door, and I let him out.

The next afternoon, he returned. He greeted me in the yard, walked straight inside, settled into the same spot in the hall, and slept for another hour. This routine continued on and off for several weeks.

Curious, I finally pinned a note to his collar:
“I’d love to know who owns this sweet dog and whether you’re aware that he comes to my house almost every afternoon for a nap.”

The following day, he showed up as usual—with a new note on his collar:
“He lives in a house with six children, two of them under three years old. He’s just catching up on his sleep.

Any chance I can come with him tomorrow?”