08/14/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17426
A Dog Walks Into A Butcher Shop.
The butcher asks, “What do you want?”
The dog points to steak in a glass case.
“How many pounds?” The dog barks twice.
“Anything else?” The dog points to some pork chops and barks four times.
So the butcher wraps up a two-pound steak and four pork chops and places the bag in the dog’s mouth.
He then takes money from a purse tied around the dog’s neck and sees him out.
A customer, who has been watching in amazement, follows the dog to a house several blocks away, where it rings the doorbell to be let in.
As the owner appears at the door, the customer says,
“What a remarkable dog!”
“Remarkable?” snorts the owner.
“This is the second time this week he’s forgotten his keys.”
08/13/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17423
A dog and a cat were having an argument about who is the favourite of humans.
The dog says,
“Humans like us more. They even named a tooth (canine) after us. Naming such an important body part after us shows that they like us more.”
The cat smiles and says,
“You’re not really going to win this one you know.”
08/12/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17420
James retired from bank service as Senior Manager.
Got handsome retirement benefits.
He deposited around 5 Million in Mutual Funds and debt funds.
5 Million he kept in the SB account itself, as his pension was sufficient for him and his wife.
He included his wife’s name in his savings account and taught her online banking and the importance of OTP… He told her not to divulge OTP to anyone.
One evening James returned from a walk.
‘ I forgot to take my mobile…By the way, anything important?’ he asked.
Wife said ‘Someone phoned from the bank’
James froze.
‘Regarding OTP?’ He asked shockingly.
Wife said ‘You are smart. Of course, they wanted me to share the OTP as they wanted to convert our account from silver status to diamond status with more benefits
‘My God..did you get an OTP? Did you share it?’
‘Of course..when it is the bank people calling how can I refuse?’
James slumped on the sofa. He immediately took the mobile, and logged into his bank account, with a heart pounding like a jet motor, murmuring
“You idiot… 5 Million gone”.
But he was pleasantly surprised to see not only 5 Million was safe, but also the SB interest was added to it.
“Did you share the OTP correctly?” he asked the wife..
“Yes. But the bank people repeatedly said that it is not correct and asked me to re-check. I stood my ground.”
“What was the OTP?”
“It was 2404. Since it is a joint account, I ‘shared’ only my half of the OTP…. which is 1202”.
08/11/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17417
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted.
She told the artist,
“Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex.”
“But you are not wearing any of those things,” replied the artist.
“I know,” she said.
“It’s in case I should die before my husband. I’m sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewellery.”
08/10/2023 from Daily Jokes
#17414
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.
My name is Billy. What’s yours?”, asked the first boy. Tommy”, replied the second.
“My Daddy’s an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a Iiving?”, asked Billy.
Tommy replied, “My Daddy’s a lawyer.”
“Honest?”, asked Billy.
“No, just the regular kind”, replied Tommy.