04/19/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20402
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police.
They run into an old barn and hide in potato sacks.
The officer chasing them walks into the barn looking for them.
He kicks the first sack with the redhead inside and the redhead says, “Woof woof!”
The cop thinks it’s a dog, so he walks to the next one.
He kicks the second bag with the brunette, and she says, “Meow meow!”
The cop believes it’s a cat and moves on.
He kicks the third bag with the blonde, and the blonde yells, “Potato potato!”
04/18/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20399
A lady comes home from her doctor’s appointment grinning from ear to ear.
Her husband asks, “Why are you so happy?”
The wife says, “The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old.”
“Oh yeah?” quipped her husband, “What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?”
She said, “Your name never came up in the conversation.”
04/17/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20396
A blonde, out of money, and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately.
To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.
She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, “I’ve kidnapped you.”
She then wrote a big note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides, on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde.”
The blonde then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning, the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree.
The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow blonde?”
04/16/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20390
A husband, who has six children, begins to call his wife “mother of six” rather than by her first name.
The wife, amused at first, chuckles.
A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of this.
“Mother of six,” he would say, “what’s for dinner tonight? Get me a beer!”
She gets very frustrated.
Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yells out, “Mother of six, I think it’s time to go!”
The wife immediately shouts back, “I’ll be right with you, father of four!”
04/15/2025 from Daily Jokes
#20386
A man was worried that his wife might not be telling the truth about something.
He went to a pet store and told the owner about his concerns.
The shop owner said, “I have a very special parrot that can tell you everything that happens in your house.”
The parrot couldn’t use its legs, so it held onto its perch in a unique way.
Even though the man wasn’t sure, he decided to take the parrot home.
At the end of the first day, the man asked the bird, “Did anything happen today?”
The parrot replied, “Yes, the milkman came over.”
The man asked, “What happened after that?”
The parrot answered, “I’m not sure… I got too excited and slipped off my perch.”