Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A boxer went to a doctor for treatment of insomnia.

“Have you tried counting sheep?” suggested the doctor.

“It doesn’t work,” replied the boxer. “whenever I get to nine, I stand up!”

Two adjoining barber shops were in a fierce competition.

One put up a sign advertising haircuts for $7.

So the other put up a sign that read: “We repair $7 haircuts”

A minister went to his local golf coarse in the hopes of finding someone to play with. As luck would have it there was a member in the pro shop looking for a game, so they were introduced and headed for the first tee.

The member asked: “What’s your handicap?”

“I’m a twelve said the minister.”

“Me too,” said the member. “Would you like to bet a dollar a hole?”

The minister agreed, and when they had finished their round, they retired to the clubhouse, where the minister solemnly handed over $18. As he parted with the cash, the minister said: “Say, I’d like you to come to the church some time.”

The member replied: “Sure, I’d like that.”

Then the minister added: “And bring your parents, I’d like to marry them.”

Driving home from a fishing trip in northern Michigan with his boat in tow, a man had engine trouble a few miles inland from Lake Huron. He didn’t have a cell phone with him, so he decided to use his marine radio to get help. Climbing into his boat, he broadcast his call sign and asked for assistance.

A coastguard officer responded: “Please state your location.”

The man said “I’m on Interstate-75, two miles south of Standish.”

The officer paused. “Could you repeat that?”

“Interstate-75, two miles south of Standish.”

There was a longer pause. Then the officer asked: “Just how fast were you going when you hit the shore?”

Hey, Did you ever here the story about the Farmer who was outstanding in his FIELD