Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Two brothers, 6 & 8 were discussing whether the words ‘hell’ & ‘ass’ were cuss words.

They both agreed that they were in the Bible and they didn’t believe they were bad words.

Let’s try it out on mom. The 8yr old went in the kitchen, his mom asked: “what would you like for breakfast dear, some waffles or bacon & eggs?”

He said: “What the hell, give me some cheerios”, and she smacked him across the face.

The 6yr old witnessed this and slowly entered the kitchen. His mom in a stern angry voice said: “And what do you want?”

He said: “You can bet your ass I’m not asking for cheerios”.

Teacher: Billy stop making ugly faces at other students

Billy: Why??

Teacher: Well, when I was your age, I was told that if I kept making ugly faces, my face would stay that way.

Billy: Well, I can see you didn’t listen.

pinochio was masturbating all of a sudden poof he got burn.

A guy asks a beautiful lady: “Can I buy you a drink?” She says: “No Thanks, alcohol is bad for my legs!” “Ohhh, do they swell??” “No, they spread..”

A little boy was sitting outside a store eating one snickers candy bar after another, when an older man walked up and said: “You shouldn’t be eating so much candy, it’ll rot your teeth, it’s just bad for you to eat so much candy.”

The little boy looked up and said: “My grandfather lived to be 95 years old”. The older man asked: “Oh? by eating snickers candy bars?” The little boy said: “No……by minding his own business.”