Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Late one night at the insane asylum one inmate shouted,
“I am Napoleon!”
Another one said, “How do you know?”
The first inmate said, “God told me!”
Just then, a voice from another room shouted, “I did not!”

Whats the difference between a regular toad and a horny toad?
A regular toad croaks "Ribbit Ribbit" while a horny toad croaks "Rub-it Rub-it"

The morning after their honeymoon night, Julie says to her
husband, "you know, You're really a lousy lover!"

Her husband replies, "How would you know after only 30 seconds?"

G: Nobody gets the girl.

PG: The good guy gets the girl.

R: The bad guy gets the girl.

X: Everybody gets the girl!

So the doctor tells the patient he’s got only six months to live.
But the patient doesn’t pay his bill on time, so the doctor gives
him another six months.