Daily Joke: Jokes Library

The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items. I sat the display skeleton in the front of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat.

I hadn’t considered the drive across town. At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became obvious, and I looked across and explained, “I’m delivering him to my doctor’s office.”

The other driver leaned out of his window. “I hate to tell you, lady,” he said, “but I think it’s too late!”

When I took my son to college, we found that he was assigned to the fourth floor of a dormitory. As I trudged through the parking lot to retrieve yet another load to carry up the four flights of stairs, two young women caught my attention from a dorm window. “Hey, Mom!” one called down. “Yo, Mom!”

I was too tired to respond, so I just ignored them until I heard the second girl ask the first, “How do you know that woman is somebody’s mom?”

The first girl replied, “Who else would do that?”

Ford has added wires to the rear window to clear fog and frost.

Dodge is adding wires under the wipers so they can be freed when frozen and not burn up the motor.

But Chevy is adding the wire elements to the tailgates on all of their trucks to keeps your hands warm while you’re pushing!

Two elderly women were trying on shoes in our store. When I slipped a shoe onto one woman’s foot, the end of my tie got caught beneath her heel. Unaware of my predicament, she stood up and started toward the mirror. For a few seconds, I found myself crawling along the floor beside her, trying to get her attention.

“Look, Martha,” her friend said. “he wants to go home with you!”

From a passenger ship, everyone can see a thin bearded man on a small island, shouting and desperately waving his hands.

“Who is it on that island?” a passenger asks the captain.

“I have no idea….. but every year when we pass, he goes nuts.”