Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A man named, Jean Paul, moved to Texas and bought a donkey from
an old farmer named Ben for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the
donkey the next day.

The next day, Ben drove up and said, “Sorry, but I have some bad news.
The donkey died.”

“Well, then, just give me the money back,” said Jean Paul

“Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.” Replied Ben

“OK, then. Just unload the donkey,” said Jean Paul.

“What ya going to do with him?” asked Ben.

“I’m going to raffle him off,” said Jean Paul.

“You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!” uttered Ben.

“Sure can. Watch me. I just won’t tell that he’s dead,” said Jean Paul.

A month later Ben met up with the man and asked, “What happened
with that dead donkey?”

“I raffled him off, I did. I sold 500-hunderd tickets at two dollars apiece
and made a profit of $998,” said Jean Paul.

“Didn’t anyone complain?” inquired Ben.

“Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back,” said Jean Paul.

Two explorers, camped in the heart of the African jungle, were discussing their expedition.

“I came here,” said one, “because the urge to travel was in my blood. City life bored me, and the smell of exhaust fumes on the highways made me sick. I wanted to see the sunrise over new horizons and hear the flutter of birds that never had been seen by man. I wanted to leave my footprints on sand unmarked before I came. In short, I wanted to see nature in the raw. What about you?”

“I came,” the second man replied, “because my son was taking saxophone lessons.”

Why did Adele cross the road?

To say “Hello” from the other side!

A small plane was carrying three passengers over a mountain range — an old man, his grandson, and an eminent scientist.

Suddenly, the pilot burst into the cabin, saying ‘The engines have all failed! Grab a parachute and jump from the plane!’ With this, the pilot opened the cabin door and leapt out with his parachute.

To their dismay, the 3 passengers discovered only 2 parachutes were left in the cabin!

The Eminent Scientist took a pack, saying ‘I’m sorry you two, but I won a Nobel Prize, I am the head of several intellectual Think Tanks — honestly, I’m worth more to society than either of you’. The Eminent Scientist leapt from the plane.

The Old Man turned to his grandson and said, ‘My dear boy, take the last parachute. I’ve had a good life. Yours has just begun.’

‘Don’t worry, Grandpa’ said the young boy, ‘that guy just jumped out the plane with my backpack.’

Two men are drinking in a bar. One turns to the other and says, “I bet you $100 that I can bite my eye.”

The second fellow thinks to himself, I guess he’s had about enough, so he replies, “OK, you’re on.”

The first man takes out his glass eye and bites it. So the second man has to pay.

Awhile later the first man says, “I bet you $100 I can bite my other eye.”

The second man thinks, well, he can’t have TWO glass eyes; he obviously can see. So he says, “All right, you’re on.”

The first man promptly takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye.