Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A son challenged his boastful father to a game of golf. The son was determined to beat his father in golf for the first time.

On the very first swing, the father got a hole in one.

“Okay, nice shot dad,” said the son, thinking quickly on his feet. “Now I will take my practice shot and then we will start.”

My four year old daughter had a terrible case of the flu. She was achy, had a high fever, and was terribly hoarse. After waiting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office for over an hour we were finally admitted to see the Doctor.

After the usual routine of listening to her breathing and checking her ears, the Doctor asked my daughter, “So what would you say is bothering you the most?”

After a brief pause, my daughter replies, “My little brother Steven, he always breaks my toys.”

A college professor was giving a big science test. Upon collecting the tests she noticed a note attached to one of them with a $100 bill underneath it. The note read, “One dollar per point please.”

The professor returned the test the following with $40 and a note attached. The note read, “Here’s your $40 change.”

A grandma lovingly gives her granddaughter a kiss on the cheek upon seeing her at a family get-together. Afterwards, she noticed the little girl wiping her cheek.

“Are you wiping off my kiss?” she asked.

“No”, she smartly replied, somewhat embarrassed but quick on her feet, “I’m just rubbing it in!”

Two men are in a truck driving around with a penguin. Noticing the penguin, a traffic cop stops the truck driver and tells him to take this animal to a zoo right away. The next day, the same cop sees the same two men in the same truck with the same penguin again.

He stops them and says, “Didn’t I tell you guys to take this animal to a zoo yesterday?”

The driver replies, “We did officer! We are taking him to the movies today.”