Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Two men are in a truck driving around with a penguin. Noticing the penguin, a traffic cop stops the truck driver and tells him to take this animal to a zoo right away. The next day, the same cop sees the same two men in the same truck with the same penguin again.

He stops them and says, “Didn’t I tell you guys to take this animal to a zoo yesterday?”

The driver replies, “We did officer! We are taking him to the movies today.”

At a wedding ceremony, the pastor asked if anyone had anything to say concerning the union of the bride and groom. Everything quickly turned to chaos when a woman carrying a child started walking towards the front.

Everybody was surprised, shocked, and the bride even fainted. The pastor asked the woman if she had anything to say.

The woman replied, “We can’t hear in the back.”

In the beginning God created the earth and then he created man.  Then He created Woman because the man couldn’t remember where he put his fig leaf.63121

An elderly man was on the operating table, about to be operated on by his son, a famous surgeon. Just before they put him under, he asked to speak to his son.

“Don’t be nervous, son, just do your best and remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me… your mother is going to come and live with you and your family.”

“Give me a sentence about a public servant,” the teacher instructed her third grade class.

“The fireman came down the ladder pregnant,” answered one little girl.

“Umm … Do you know what pregnant means?”

“Yes,” said the girl. “It means carrying a child.”