Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Mrs. Smith needed to have her piano tuned so she asked a friend for a recommendation. She then made an appointment with the piano tuner, Mr. Opperknockity. He arrived two days later, tuned the piano satisfactorily, and left.

Shortly after that, Mrs. Smith noticed that the piano was terribly out of tune again. She called the tuner to complain about it and to ask for a return visit to solve the problem.

However, the tuner replied, “I’m sorry ma’am, but Opperknockity only tunes once!”

During weekly visits to my allergist, I’ve noticed a lot of inattentive parents with ill-behaved children in the waiting room. So I was impressed one day to see a mother with her little boy, helping him sound out the words on a sign.

Finally he mastered it and his mother cheered, “That’s great! Now sit there. I’ll be back in 15 minutes.”

What did the sign say?

“Children must not be left unattended.”

In search of a Christmas tree, two blondes ventured deep into the forest.

After hours of braving sub-zero temperatures and biting wind, one blonde turned to the other and wearily said: “I’m chopping down the next tree I see, I don’t care if it’s decorated or not.”

Frosty the snowman was spotted looking through the carrot bin at the local supermarket…

He was picking his nose.

On the way to lunch, a teacher spotted two boys playfully fighting. She asked one of the boys to go to the back of the line and he came back right after.

”Why aren’t you at the end of the line?” asked the teacher.

The boy replied, “I couldn’t, someone was already there.”