Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A brunette, a red-head and a blonde were in jail when they decided to break out. The girls broke out and the brunette said, “Let’s hide in that barn, they’ll never find us.” So they climed up the ladder and then the blonde threw it down.

The next morning, the cops said, “Come out with your hands in the air!” The red-head said, “Hide in those baskets, they’ll never find us!” So the Brunette got in the first one, the red-head got in the second one and the blonde got in the third one.

Meanwhile, the cops were getting a ladder set up and trying to get up there.

Once they got up, the seargent ordered them to kick the baskets. So the cop kicked the first one: “RUFF.” “It’s just a damn dog!” yelled the cop. The cop kicked the next one: “MEOW.” “It’s just a damn cat,” yelled the cop. The cop kicked the next basket and the blonde yelled, “POTATOES!”

Mama bear, papa bear, and baby bear were having a great time chasing vacationers in a car as they were visiting Yellowstone National Park.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, Baby Bear?”

“I think we could be doing a better job of scaring these vacationers.”

“But Baby Bear,” Mama Bear injected. “What more can we do?”

“Maybe we’d have more of an effect on them if we got out of this car and started chasing them on all fours!”

Owner of a aircraft manufacturing company stopped by the aircraft testing airfield to check on the newest test pilot.

He asked the supervisor how the new guy was doing. “Terrible! He has already crashed four planes this week!”

Owner replied, “How is this possible? Where did he work before coming here?”

Supervisor said, “He designed Windows software for Microsoft.”

Patient 1: “Why did you run away from the operation table?”

Patient 2: “The nurse was repeatedly saying ‘don’t get nervous’, ‘don’t be afraid’, ‘be strong’, ‘this is a small operation only’, things like that.”

Patient 1: “So what was wrong in that? Why were you so afraid?”

Patient 2: “She was talking to the surgeon!”

A blonde goes to the doctor with burns on both of her ears and her right hand.

“Sit down and tell me how it happened,” says the doctor.

“I was ironing my clothes when I received a call. Instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and burned my ear.”

“What about the other ear and your hand?” the doctor asked.

She replied, “I tried to call for an ambulance.”