Daily Joke: Jokes Library

My sister was busy getting ready to host our entire family for Easter. On her to-do list was a hair appointment for her daughter.

“So, Katie,” said the stylist as the little girl got up in the chair, “who’s coming to your house this weekend with big ears and floppy feet?”

Katie replied, “I think it’s my Uncle Brian.”

A young lady stops at the gas station to fill up and realizes she has locked her keys inside the car. When going inside to pay, she asks for a hanger to unlock her car.

After a few minutes the attendant comes to help.

The not so bright lady is moving the hanger, while inside the car is her not so bright friend giving directions. “RIGHT, NOW LEFT, JUST A LITTLE MORE RIGHT…”

A young blonde with a coach ticket went up and sat down in the first class section of a plane going from Tampa to Los Angles.

The airline hostess said I’m sorry miss but you have to sit in the coach section.

The blonde replied ” I’m blonde and beautiful and I’m going to LA ” She wouldn’t move.

Finally the first officer came up and whispered in her ear. The blonde jumped up and ran back to coach

The stewardess asked the first officer what he said to the blonde.

I told her First Class doesn’t stop in LA

Phone Company Gives Something for Nothing

Dear Ann,

I think I can top the person who wrote complaining about the idiocy of the phone company. Talk about garbage in, garbage out!

When AT&T split with Bell, we had three phones in our house. The equipment belonged to Ma Bell and the service belonged to AT&T. After we returned all the phone equipment to Ma Bell, we received a bill for $0.00. A few weeks later, we received a check for $5 and a note thanking us. Several months later, we received another computerized bill for $0.00. We called again, got nowhere, so we sent another check for $0.00. A few weeks later we received another $5 refund with the same thank you.

This went on every three months for two years. Now we are down to once a year and have given up trying to straighten this out. We just cash the $5 and forget about it.

Working at a theater box-office ticket window poses many challenges in dealing with people.

When a disgruntled customer at a window exclaimed, “No Tickets?” What do you mean NO TICKETS?”

The women waiting on him smiled sweeting. “I’m terribly sorry, sir,” she replied. “Which word didn’t you understand?”