Daily Joke: Jokes Library

Father in a conversation with a neighbor…

First son: Degree in Economics
Second son: MBA
Third son: PhD
Fourth son: Thief

Neighbor: Why can’t you throw the fourth son out of your house? Father: He is the only one earning money. The rest are unemployed.

A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passengers had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said, “I wish you could talk.”

The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down. “You can understand what I’m saying?” asked the officer. Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.

“Well, did you see this?”

“Yes,” motioned the monkey.

“What happened?” The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth. “They were drinking?” asked the officer. The monkey again nodded up and down.

“What else?” The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth. “They were smoking marijuana?”

The monkey again nodded yes in agreement. “Now wait, you’re saying they were drinking, and smoking marijuana before they wrecked?” asked the officer.

“Yes,” nodded the monkey, emphatically.

“What were you doing during all this?”

“Driving,” motioned the monkey.

To make his class interesting, an English language teacher asked a grade 3 student to challenge him in an English test. The student wrote this word on the classroom board, SIDANDTED, and asked his teacher to explain its meaning.

The teacher looked at the word for some time and even searched for its meaning in the dictionary. After several minutes of his research, he gave up and asked his student to explain the meaning.

The student simply said, “They are my friends, Sid and Ted.”

When a new dentist set up in town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the ‘Painless’ dentist. However, a local little girl called Veronica disputed his claim.

“He’s a fake!” Veronica told her friends. “He’s not painless at all.  When he stuck his finger in my mouth, I bit him, and he screamed like anyone else!”

Employee: “Sir, what is the secret of your success?”
Manager: “Two words.”

Employee: “And, Sir, what are they?”
Manager: “Right decisions.”

Employee: “And how do you make right decisions?”
Manager: “One word.”

Employee: “And, What is that?”
Manager: “Experience.”

Employee: “And how do you get Experience?”
Manager: “Two words.”

Employee: “And, Sir, what are they?”
Manager: “Wrong decisions.”