Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A mother, accompanied by her small daughter, was in New York City. The mother was trying to hail a cab, when her daughter noticed several wildly dressed women who were loitering on a nearby street corner.

The mother finally hailed her cab and they both climbed in, at which point the young daughter asks her mother, “Mommy, what are all those ladies waiting for by that corner?”

The mother replies, “Those ladies are waiting for their husbands to come by and pick them up on the way home from work.”

The cabby, upon hearing this exchange, turns to the mother and says, “Ah, C’mon lady! Tell your daughter the truth! For crying out loud…They’re hookers!”

A brief period of silence follows, and the daughter then asks, “Mommy, do the hooker ladies have any children?”

The mother replies, “Of course, Dear. Where do you think cabbies come from?”

An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, “Daddy, what is sex?”

The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer.

He proceeded to tell her all about the “birds and the bees.” When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open.

The father asked her, “Why did you ask this question?”

The little girl replied, “Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs.”

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later:
“Da-ad…” “What?”
“I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?”
“No. You had your chance. Lights out.”
“Five minutes later: “Da-aaaad…”
“WHAT?”
“I’m THIRSTY…Can I have a drink of water??”
“I told you NO! If you ask again I’ll have to spank you!!”
“Five minutes later…
“Daaaa-aaaad…”
“WHAT??!!”
“When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?”

One night, a father passed by his son’s room and heard his son praying: “God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa.”

The father didn’t quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked.

The next night, he heard his son praying again: “God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma.”

The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack.

Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son’s door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: “God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy.”

Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor’s early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, “Thank God you’re here — we could really use your help! We found milkman dead on our porch this morning!”

A father asks his 10-year-old son if he knows about the birds and the bees.

I don’t want to know! the child says, bursting into tears. Promise me you won’t tell me!

Confused, the father asks what’s wrong.

Oh, dad, the boy sobs. When I was six, I got the There’s no Santa speech. At seven, I got the There’s no Easter Bunny speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the There’s no tooth fairy speech. If you’re going to tell me that adults don’t really have sex, I’ll have nothing left to live for.