04/17/2022 from Daily Jokes
#15919
A hunter went out to hunt for buffalo.
To help him, he hired an Indian Scout.
The two of them set off on their journey to find buffalo.
After riding a while, the Indian gets off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says
“Humm, buffalo come.”
The soldier scans the area with his binoculars but sees nothing.
He is confused and says to the Indian,
“I do not see anything, how do you know buffalo come?”
The Indian replies,
“Ear sticky.”
04/16/2022 from Daily Jokes
#15916
After World War II, an American soldier was going back to London from the front.
He was on a very crowded train and was looking for a seat, but the only empty one was next to an older lady, and she had her pet poodle on it.
He said, “Please, madam, I’m very tired. May I please sit here?”
The lady replied, “No. My precious little poodle, Miss Fluffy, is sitting here.”
The soldier walked the length of the train again with no luck,
so he went back to the same seat next to the same woman and said,
“Please, Madam, I have been fighting at the front for months, my feet hurt and I’m very tired. May I please sit here?”
The woman told him, “I cannot believe how rude you are! I have already told you that my darling little Miss Fluffy is sitting here.”
At that, the American lost his temper, picked up the poodle and threw it out the window.
An elderly man who was sitting across the compartment looked at the American soldier and said,
“You Americans do everything wrong. You drive on the wrong side of the road, you eat with the wrong hand and now you’ve thrown the wrong bitch out of the window!”
04/15/2022 from Daily Jokes
#15913
One day an old lady won the lottery and bought a mansion.
She would wake up every day in her mansion lonely
So one day the old lady decided to buy a dog
The old lady was so bored she wanted to name her Mansion but she could not think of a name for her mansion,
So she said to herself before she went to sleep first thing I see in the morning I’ll name my mansion!
The old lady falls asleep n awakes in the morning and sees a hairy b**t!
The old lady says haha then my Mansion will be named Hairy b**t!
The old lady got really bored n started thinking of names to name her dog she couldn’t think of a good one so she said the first thing I step on I’ll name my dog.
The old lady awakes in the morning steps on a crack the old lady says hahaha I’ll name my dog crack!
A whole week goes by and her dog comes up missing!
The old lady is in panic and calls the Police!
When the police arrive they ask the old lady what seems to be the problem?
The old lady replies back frantically I looked all over my hairy b**t but I couldn’t find my crack!
04/14/2022 from Daily Jokes
#15908
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight..
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
“Please wake me at 5:00 AM.”
He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said,
“It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”
04/13/2022 from Daily Jokes
#15903
There was this guy who found an ancient book.
In that book he read that dolphins live forever if you feed them the meat of an eagle.
Some time later he came across a very sick eagle and thought: It’s gonna die soon anyway, might as well take it to the dolphins at the local zoo to see if what’s in the book is actually true.
At night he climbed over a wall to get into the zoo – and found himself right in the lion enclosure!
He managed to escape the lions by jumping over them and then climbing up a tree.
He was later arrested and charged with smuggling ill eagle goods over state lions for immortal porpoises.