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06/02/2012 from Daily Jokes
#8427

There was a brunette standing along side a busy road chanting “88, 88, 88, 88…”

A blonde came up to her and said, “That looks like fun, can I try?”

The brunette said, “Sure.”

So the blonde chanted, “88, 88, 88, 88..”

“Well,” said the brunette, “that is fun. But what is even more fun is if you say it in the middle of the street.”

So the blonde said, “OK.” and stood in the middle of the street. “88, 88, 88, 88-” BAM! she was run over by a car, completely flattened.

Along the side of the road, the brunette began to chant, “89, 89, 89, 89…”

Funny +131
-126 Not Funny
06/01/2012 from Daily Jokes
#8426
A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman.

He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, “Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s hiding in your closet and he’s got no clothes on!”

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.

Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

“You rotten bastard,” says the husband, “my wife’s having a heart attack and you’re running around naked scaring the kids!!!”

Funny +229
-48 Not Funny
06/01/2012 from autumn
#8425

there are a set of twins born and they were going to meet grandpa for the first time and then he said ok so who do these belong to

05/31/2012 from Daily Jokes
#8424

One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.

She opens it to a guy, “Hi, is Tony home?”
The wife replies, “No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want.”
So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says “You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I’d give you a hundred buck just to see one.”
Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell – a hundred bucks! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and guy then says “That was so amazing I’ve got to see both of them. I’ll give you another 100 dollars if I could just see the both of them together.”
Sara amazed by the offer sits and thinks a bit about it and thinks, heck, why not? So she opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long chance to cop a look.
A while later Tony arrives back home from the store. The wife goes up to him, “You know, your friend Chris came over.”
Tony thinks about it for a second and says, “Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?”
Funny +295
-36 Not Funny
05/30/2012 from Daily Jokes
#8423

The train was quite crowded, so a U.S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged, French woman’s poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, ‘Ma’am, may I have that seat?’ The French woman just sniffed and said to no one in particular ‘Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat.’

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. ‘Please, ma’am. May I sit down? I’m very tired. She snorted, ‘Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!’ This time the Marine didn’t say a word; he just picked up the little dog, threw it out of the train window, and sat down.

The woman shrieked, ‘Someone must defend my honour! This American should be put in his place!’ An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up, ‘Sir, you Americans often seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your cars on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out of the window.’

Funny +679
-34 Not Funny
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