09/09/2025 from Daily Jokes
#21111
“How long have you been driving without a tail light?” asked the policeman after pulling over a motorist.
The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a long, painful groan.
He seemed so upset that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit.
“Come on, now,” he said, “you don’t have to take it so hard. It isn’t that serious.”
“It isn’t?” cried the motorist. “Then you know what happened to my boat and trailer?”
09/08/2025 from Daily Jokes
#21109
An athletic young man, who always kept his baseball cap on, was heading for the steam room at a local fitness club when he chanced to see someone walking out with his clothes.
With only his hat for cover, he took off after the thief. As he hastened out the door of the locker room, he bumped into two girls who looked at him and burst into laughter.
“If you were ladies,” he said testily, “you wouldn’t laugh at a man in my circumstances.”
“And if you were a gentleman,” said one, “you’d raise your hat.”
09/07/2025 from Daily Jokes
#21106
The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have?” The guy answers, “A scotch, please.” The bartender hands him the drink, and says “That’ll be five dollars,” to which the guy replies, “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this.”
A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, “You know, he’s got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration.”
The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, “Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don’t ever let me catch you in here again.”
The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, “What the heck are you doing in here? I can’t believe you’ve got the audacity to come back!”
The guy says, “What are you talking about? I’ve never been in this place in my life!” The bartender replies, “I’m very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double.”
To which the guy replies, “Thank you. Make it a scotch.”
09/06/2025 from Daily Jokes
#21103
A wife was standing in the kitchen one morning, preparing soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the t-shirt she slept in. As her husband walked in, she turned to him and said: “You’ve got to make love to me right now, here, across the kitchen table.”
His eyes lit up. He could hardly believe his luck, and before she could change her mind, he made love to her on the kitchen table.
Afterwards, she hurriedly thanked him and returned to the stove, with her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but puzzled, he asked her: “What was all that about?”
“Oh,” she said. “The egg timer is broken.”
09/05/2025 from Daily Jokes
#21096
On a special teacher’s day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist’s son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it over her head, and said, “I bet I know what it is – flowers!”
“That’s right!” said the boy, “but how did you know?”
“Just a wild guess,” she said.
The next pupil was the candy store owner’s daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, “I bet I can guess what it is – a box of candy!”
“That’s right! But how did you know?” asked the girl.
“Just a lucky guess,” said the teacher.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner’s son. The teacher held the bag over her head and noticed that it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it. “Is it wine?” she asked.
“No,” the boy replied.
The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue. “Is it champagne?” she asked.
“No,” the boy replied.
The teacher then said, “I give up, what is it?”
The boy replied, “A puppy!”