Daily Joke: Jokes Library

A science teacher asked her students “Children, if you could own one mineral, what would it be?

One boy said, “I would choose gold. It’s worth lots of money and I could buy a Corvette.”

Another boy said, “I would want platinum because it’s worth more than gold and I could buy a Porsche.”

The teacher said, “Johnny, What would you want?

Johnny said, “I would want silicone.”

“Why would you want silicone?” Asked the teacher

“Well my mom got some, he replied, “and there’s always a Porsche or Corvette sitting in our driveway.”

As most Silver Surfers know – and the rest will soon discover – sometimes we have trouble with our computers.

I had a problem yesterday, so I called Danny, the 12 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Danny clicked a couple of keys and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, ‘So, what was wrong?’

He replied, ‘It was just a simple ‘ID ten T’.’

I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless enquired.

‘An “ID ten T”??? What’s that? In case I ever need to fix it again.’

Danny grinned wide…. ‘Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?’

‘No,’ I replied.

‘Write it down,’ he said, ‘and I think you’ll figure it out.’

So I wrote down:

ID10T

I used to like Danny, the little bastard.

British engineers heard about the device and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made and a device was sent to the British engineers.

When device was fired, the British engineers were shocked… the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer’s back-rest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin.

The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.

NASA responded with a one-line memo: “Defrost the chicken”.

There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was showing his arrogant preppy son around his factory.

Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer.

They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought, “this should impress him!”

He showed his son a machine and said: “Son, this is the heart of the factory. With this machine here we can put in a pig, and out come sausages.”

The son, openly sneering, said: “Yes, but do you have a machine where you can put in a sausage and out comes a pig?”

The furious father thought and said: “Yes son, we call it your mother.”

There was a blonde who was sick of all the blonde jokes.

One day, she decided to get a makeover, so she cut and dyed her hair. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep.

She stopped and called the sheep herder over. “Tell you what. I have a proposition for you,” said the woman.

“If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?”

“Sure,” said the sheep herder. So, she sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied “382”.

“Wow!” said the herder.

“That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home.” So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.

Then, the herder said, “Okay, now I have a proposition for you”.

“What is it?” queried the woman.

“If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?”