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06/16/2021 from DailyJokes
#14908

Three guys checked into the hotel. Their room was on the 45th floor and administrator 1warned them, that elevator works just till 12pm.
They left all bags at the room and went to the restaurant.
When they arrived, the elevator was no longer working and they had to walk by foot. so it won’t be so boring, they desided to tell some jokes, scarry stories and sing some songs.
First man told some very good jokes. The second one sang beautiful songs.
Till now they have passed 30 floors. It’s time for the 3th man to tell some scary stories.
And he began to tell “Get ready to hear the most scariest thing that you ever heard. We forgot our keys at the reception”

Funny +132
-39 Not Funny
06/15/2021 from DailyJokes
#14905
What Time Is It en Espanol

I took my 13-year-old son with me to a large charity barbecue. A few thousand people there and several different rib joints you can sample. It was awesome, the food was fantastic.

There was also a large beer tent that had a band with many people in it. Band was pretty good the music while people ate their food.

I grabbed a table with my son and we were eating our dinner when I noticed I had lost my Rolex sometime that day. Since my grandpa left it to me in his will, this was pretty upsetting.

Shortly after we finished our meal, a man and a woman began arguing near the area where we entered the tent. It looked like it was getting pretty intense, so I walked over to see if I could help. As I got closer to the arguing couple … it began to escalate. The guy pushed the woman really hard and she fell back. I am not much of a tough guy, but in anger I punched him with every thing I had. As he fell to the ground, I noticed right where he had been standing … was my missing Rolex, squished into the grass.

I am pretty sure I did the right thing, as there was no way I was going to let that s*** happen, on my watch.

Funny +40
-115 Not Funny
06/14/2021 from DailyJokes
#14902
Rusty en Espanol

“Doctor, doctor, I’m so worried,” said the anxious man.

“Both my wife and I have black hair, but our son’s just been born with red hair. Do you think something funny has been going on?”

“Not necessarily,” replied the doctor. “How many times do you make love?”

“About 5 times a year.”

“Well, there’s your answer then, you’re just a little rusty.”

Funny +70
-27 Not Funny
06/13/2021 from DailyJokes
#14900
At The Bar en Espanol

A man wearing a ten-gallon hat and leather boots goes into a bar and sits down next to a woman. “Are you a real cowboy?”, she asks him.

He responds: “For all my life, I have been tamed and ridden horses. I have repaired fences, herded and tended to cows and caught escaped cows. I think it would make sense to call myself a cowboy.”

To which she says: “Interesting. I myself am a lesbian. I wake up thinking about women, when I am in the shower I think about women, at night laying in bed I think about women. I constantly think about women.” They talk for a while, until she gets up and leaves.

An older couple enters the bar and sits down next to the cowboy. They eyeball him a short while and then muster up the courage to ask him:”Are you a real cowboy?”,

to which he replies:”For all my life I thought I was a cowboy, but today I learned that I am in fact a lesbian.”

Funny +81
-26 Not Funny
06/12/2021 from DailyJokes
#14897
At Walmart en Espanol

A boy starts his first day at Walmart.

His trainer says to him “I’ll take care of the first 2 customers to show you how it’s done and you can look after the 3rd.”

So the trainer goes to the first customer and says “Can I help you, m’am?” Lady goes “I’m looking for some garden hose.”

Trainer “Okay 10, 20 or 30 ft?”

Lady “30ft.”

He takes her to where the hoses are and says “After, can I interest you in a lawn mower?”

“Why would I need a lawn mower?”

“Well you’re going to water your grass, the grass is going to grow and you’re going to need to cut it. You’ll need a lawnmower for that.”

“Actually yeah, I do need a lawnmower.”

The boy is pretty impressed that his trainer was able to sell this lady a lawnmower. So the trainer goes to the second customer and says “Can I help you, sir?”

The man says “Yeah, I’m looking for some fertilizer.”

“Sure. 10, 20 or 30 pounds?”

“20″

So the trainer takes the man to where the fertilizer is and says “When you’re done can I interest you in a new lawnmower?”

“Why would I need a lawnmower?”

“Well you’re going to fertilize your grass, the grass is going to grow and you’re going to need to cut it. You’re going to need a lawnmower.”

“Yeah, actually, I do need a lawnmower”.

The boy at this point is amazed by his trainer’s salesmanship.

So now it’s the boys turn to help a customer. He goes up to this lady and asks “Is there something I can help you with today?”

“I’m looking for some tampons.”

“Sure, 10, 20 or 30 pack?”

“30 pack”.

So the boy takes the lady to where the tampons are and says “When you’re done can I interest you in a lawnmower?”

The lady looks at him confused as says “What on earth would I need a lawnmower for?”

“Well, your weekend’s fucked, might as well cut the grass.”

Funny +132
-40 Not Funny
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