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11/27/2022 from DailyJokes
#16644

WIFE: Darling why are you home this early wearing such a Long face?

HUSBAND: Had a terríble day, I lost all my colleagues today at work.

WIFE: Bloód of Jesus! What háppened?

HUSBAND: There was a Fíre óut break dówn the tunnel and everybody died!

WIFE: What a píty! Darling, I thank God for keeping You Alíve.🙏 How did you make it out my dear?

HUSBAND: Dárling, it was God’s Wórk. My stómach was upsétting me so, I took a bréak to eáse myself in the toílet.

WIFE: Darling, thank God you are alive. What would have happened to us??!!😢; I feel so much píty for their families, how are they going to survive now?

HUSBAND: My dear it’s a píty, but the UNITED NATIONS has decided to give the families of the deceased $10 million each.

WIFE: What? !!!! Ten míllion what? Chai!! Honey, you didn’t do well oo, why are you always ábsent when God wants to bléss us?

Funny +32
-108 Not Funny
11/26/2022 from DailyJokes
#16642

A wife asked her husband to drop her off at a friend’s house, where a wedding reception was taking place.

He responded that he would be too busy throughout the day in the office, and gave her some money to take a taxi.

He left for the office.

The wife took a Taxi to the wedding reception, there she met a fine Girl and they got talking to each other.

Soon they became friends.

In the evening when everyone was leaving, the Girl asked the Woman how she was going home.

She replied that her husband was too busy in the office to pick her up so she would use a taxi.

The Girl responded;

“My boyfriend brought me here and would be coming to pick me up. I just spoke to him on the phone and he’s on his way. Why don’t you join me in his car and we would drop you at your house”

The woman agreed. A few minutes later, her husband’s car arrived.

The Girl jumped into the front passenger seat of the car and asked the Woman to sit at the backseat, which she did confused and perturbed.

Then the Girl introduced her new friend to her boyfriend.

When the man turned around to greet the woman, he recognized her as his wife. Nothing much was said along the way.

He dropped the wife at home first as planned and proceeded to drop the Girl at her house.

The question now is:

If you were the wife, what would you do when your husband returns home?

If you were the husband, what would you say to your wife when you return home?

What would you do if you are the wife?

Funny +18
-175 Not Funny
11/25/2022 from DailyJokes
#16640

 

A man was riding on a full bus minding his own business.

when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breastfeed her baby.

The baby wouldn’t take it so she said,

“Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I’ll have to give it to this nice man next to us.”

Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding,

so she said,

“Come on, honey. Take it or I’ll give it to this nice man here.”

A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out,

“Come on kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!”

Funny +116
11/24/2022 from DailyJokes
#16638

A young reform man is marrying into a strictly orthodox family.

The day before the wedding, he goes to visit his future father-in-law.

“Out of respect for your beliefs sir, I wanted to ask you a few questions.”

“Sure!”

“Well, after the wedding, is there a time I should wait before we-“

“My boy, were I a young man on my wedding night, I would not wait one moment longer! Physical love in marriage is a beautiful thing, created by G-d.”

“That’s great! But…. should I be on top?”

“If you want.”

“Could she be on top?”

“If that is what you both wish.”

“Doggy style?”

“Sure!”

“Can we do it standing up?”

The old man slammed down his first.

“NO! That I must strictly forbid!”

“Why?”

“Because it could lead to dancing!”

Funny +63
-43 Not Funny
11/23/2022 from DailyJokes
#16635

A little boy said to a little girl:
– I’m your BF!

The little girl asked:
– What is BF?

The boy laughed and answered:
– That means Best Friend.

They later dated, the young man said to the girl:
– I am your BF!

The girl leaned lightly on the boy’s shoulder, shyly asked:
– What is BF?

The boy replied:
– It’s Boy Friend!

A few years later they got married, had lovely children, and the husband smiled again and told his wife:
– I am your BF!

The wife gently asked her husband:
– What is BF?

The husband looked at the lovely and happy children and replied:
– It’s Baby’s father!

As they get old, they sit together and watch the sunset on the front porch, and the old man tells his wife:
– Honey! I am your BF!

The old woman smiled with wrinkles on her face:
– What is BF?

The old man smiled happily and gave a mysterious answer:
– Be Forever!

When the dying old man also said:
– I can BF.

The old woman replied with a sad voice:
– What is BF ??

The old man answered and then closed his eyes:
– It’s Bye Forever!

A few days later, the old woman also passed away. Before closing her eyes, the old woman whispered by the old man’s grave:
– Beside Forever.

Funny +31
-73 Not Funny
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