A man went into the kitchen to make breakfast and was shocked to see a rabbit sitting inside his refrigerator.
He yelled
“Hey! What are you doing in there?!”
The rabbit asked back
“Well this refrigerator is a Westinghouse, right?”
“I guess… What difference does that make?”
“I’m westing.”
A couple is walking in East Berlin on Christmas Eve.
They feel a slight precipitation.
“I think it’s raining,” says the man.
“No, it’s snowing,” replies the woman.
“How about we ask this Communist officer here? He is always right!” exclaims the main.
“Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?
“Definitely raining,” Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.
The man turns to his wife with a smile.
“See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
A girl takes her big fat cat to the vet.
“My cat is very fat,” she says.
“Alright,” says the vet.
“I will look at him.”
The vet picks up the cat and examines its teeth.
Then she looks at its eyes.
Then into its ears.
Finally, she turns to the girl and says,
“I’m very sorry. I’m going to have to put your cat down.”
“Oh no! Because he’s so fat?”
“Yes,” says the doctor.
“My arms are very tired.”
A 60 years old billionaire marries a young 25 year old girl…
After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage…
After a few drinks, billionaire’s friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo young lady..
“It’s simple” billionaire boasts…
“I faked my age”
“Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy…she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?” A friend asks.
With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
“85 years old”
A cop pulls a car over for going 20 mph on the highway
The driver is a little old lady, and there are two old ladies in the back seat.
The cop asks,
“Why were you driving just 20 miles per hour?”
The old lady responds,
“I was just going the posted speed limit!” and points to a sign up ahead.
The cop smiles and says,
“That’s not the speed limit sign, that’s the sign for this highway — Route 20!”
One of the old ladies in the back gasps out,
“We tried to tell you, Eugenia!”
The cop takes another look at the old women in the back and sees that they are wide-eyed and disheveled.
One of them is tightly gripping the door handle.
“What’s the matter?” the cop asks.
She responds,
“We just came off of Interstate 190.”